Rating the Sun Bowl: Throw out the records for a high-noon border war

Bowls: There are a lot of them. As a public service, the Doc is here to rank each game according to five crucial criteria, with help from the patron saint of the game in question. Today: The Sun Bowl!

Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly is … el jefe!

Teams. Miami Hurricanes (7-5) vs. Notre Dame Fighting Irish (7-5).
Particulars. Today, 2 p.m. ET on CBS.
Favorite: Miami (–3)
Patron Saint: Glendale, Ariz., native Marty Robbins, whose 1959 smash "El Paso" is so evocative of the city that UTEP made it the official school fight song. Later, Robbins became a super fan and part-time driver on the up-and-coming NASCAR circuit, once declining the 1973 Rookie of the Race award at Talladega because he'd intentionally knocked the mandatory restrictors out of his carburetor before the race: "I just wanted to see what it was like to run up front for once."

    More 2010 Bowl Ratings
  • Dec. 17: New Mexico Bowl
  • Dec. 18: Humanitarian Bowl
  • Dec. 18: New Orleans Bowl
  • Dec. 21: Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl
  • Dec. 22: Maaco Bowl Las Vegas
  • Dec. 23: Poinsettia Bowl
  • Dec. 24: Hawaii Bowl
  • Dec. 26: Little Caesars Bowl
  • Dec. 27: Independence Bowl
  • Dec. 28: Champs Sports Bowl
  • Dec. 29: Texas Bowl
  • Dec. 29: Alamo Bowl
  • Dec. 30: Pinstripe Bowl
  • Dec. 30: Music City Bowl
  • Dec. 30: Holiday Bowl

• Locale. Now that the short-lived International Bowl is no more, the 51,000-seat Sun Bowl once again holds the distinction of being the closest bowl venue to an international border, sitting just across the interstate from Juarez, Mexico, the tragic "Murder Capital of the World." Meanwhile, El Paso itself improbably remains one of the safest large cities in America.

• Tradition. Finally, a game your grandparents actually recognize: The Sun Bowl began in 1935, the same year as the Orange Bowl, making it the second-oldest existing bowl game behind the Rose. It remained a New Year's Day affair until 1958, and has been broadcast by CBS every year since 1968 – one of only two non-SEC games (along with Army-Navy) on the network each year, and one of only two bowl games this season (along with the Cotton Bowl) not broadcast by ESPN. As always, it will kick off at "High Noon" in the Mountain time zone.

Alas, it is sponsored for the first time this year by a company based in South Korea.

• Swag. The Sun Bowl is one of the few games that spreads the wealth across every major category of bowl swag: Electronics (a "gift suite"), Watches (Timely Watch Co.), Clothing and Apparel (Majestic fleece pullover, Top of the World cap), Luggage (a backpack) and most importantly, "Other" – in this case, a hair dryer made by El Paso-based beauty giant Helen of Troy, a longtime sponsor. You laugh, but I promise you now, Jacory Harris is going to love that hair dryer when his beautiful afro butterfly emerges from its cocoon.

• Sponsors, trophies and other ambiance. While Notre Dame was enjoying a respite from the brutal winter fronts that assaulted the Northeast earlier this week by soaking up a little local color, some Miami players were encountering snow for the first time – though some of them have also been preparing for a cold-weather game back home, apparently: "I always watched [snow] on TV,'' Jacory Harris told the Miami Herald. "When I go to sleep at night I turn the air conditioner down to 40 so I can wake up in the cold and see how it is. I sleep like that all the time.''

Do you hear that, 25-degree wind chill? Jacory Harris literally yawns in your face on a nightly basis. He's ready for your tricks.

• This year's match-up. Notre Dame! Miami! Catholics! Convicts! Unranked, 7-5 mediocrities separated from their glory years by entire recruiting cycles! Cue excited Rocket Ismail, brah!

Actually, for a matchup of two disappointing 7-5 mediocrities, the Irish do have more reason to be excited to be here: While Miami was limping to the finish line with its starting quarterback on the sideline and its coach's head eventually on the chopping block, Notre Dame was rebounding from back-to-back humiliations at the hands of Navy and Tulsa and a season-ending injury to its starting quarterback by winning three straight under true freshman Tommy Rees, including a 28-3 wipeout over Utah and a rain-soaked fourth quarter comeback in the Los Angeles Coliseum to end an eight-game losing streak against USC. Just as the Brian Kelly era is beginning to show some promise in South Bend, the 'Canes have barely had time to meet the new boss.

• Star power. Today's game could be the last for spectacular ND receiver Michael Floyd, a freakish talent who finally managed to play in 11 of 12 games this season – he lost substantial portions of his freshman and sophomore campaigns to injury – and has a good chance to go out with a 1,000-yard season with a big day. But Floyd will be matched up against another future first-rounder, All-ACC cornerback Brandon Harris, who may be taking it to the league his own self after headlining a secondary that finished second nationally against the pass in terms of both yards and efficiency.

Final rating: out of five.
Some match-ups, you can't in good conscience miss as a football fan. Notre Dame-Miami in 35-degree weather in the middle of a desert is one of them, regardless of the records.

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Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

Drew Barrymore Marley Shelton Thalía Brooke Burke Thandie Newton